rant - video game industry - impostor syndrome

almost two years ago, a project i was a contractor and sole programmer on broke down, in part because of my adhd and mismanagement thereof

since then i've been hesistant to take on new contracts, deathly afraid i'll drop the ball again, unable to actually perform and deliver

but today i stumbled on this picture in my screenshots folder
on the left is the key art for the game, on the right the state of the game a couple weeks before it was dropped
the customer dropped the project, claiming to have fallen out with the artist (which explains the missing assets like particle effects, and also why i wasn't getting feedback regarding when ui assets would be available)
they also mentioned stuff about how the game didn't look the way they liked, the changelog for the last month of updates is all stuff about changing colours and tweaking camera settings and stuff like that, all these tiny, silly requests they were making

it's quite obvious to me now that they were stalling, because of their falling out with the artist, until finally they killed the project

it's strange to look back on this now, at the screenshots and the changelogs and realise that, yeah, this wasn't my fault

in reply to gaeel bradshaw-rodriguez